Just Friends.

Hello Dear Readers,

Today, I didn't do much at first... went to the store, made Chicken Bog, watched some TV, cleaned a little...

But then I got to go hang out with one of my best friends for 3 hours(: and get this, that friend... is a BOY. That's right, a guy, who is just a friend, whom i can hang out with and it not be awkward. And guess what? I'm fine with that.

I have recently re-realized that i don't need to "be with" someone to be happy. All you really need is friends, family and God. And even if your family is disfunctional, you have your family that you choose, your friends. And those people, can mean the world to you. I know my friends mean the world to me(: And while it is nice to have someone to "be with" as a teenager, its not everything. Because most people aren't going to end up marrying their high school sweetheart. You more often find people who end up marrying their best friend. And to me, that sounds pretty good.

So be a friend first, and don't worry about all the relationship drama, God has it all planned out for you. So sit back and enjoy the beautiful friendships you have in your life. You might just find out that it's what you've been missing all along. And who knows, you might even find your "happily ever after" there.

--Laney.

PS: I was supposed to have posted this yesterday... oh well!

iWant.

My mind is racing right now. There's so many questions. So much I don't know or understand. There's so much I want.

I want to be skinny. I want to have lots of money. I want to have a boyfriend. I want to be a stronger Christ follower. I want to have style. I want to go on vacations. I want to be able to buy whatever I want. I want an action-packed summer. I want to do what I set out to do. I want to be popular. I want to be stronger. I want to be sweet to everyone. I want to live a life that glorifies God in all that I do. I want to see new things. I want to be able to draw. I want to complete a goal. I want to have a purpose. I want a storybook life.

I understand that everyone is different and unique. But I don't understand why it has to control our lives. I don't see why some people get to be pretty and skinny and rich and others are stuck being fat and lower class. I don't understand why some people get everything they want, and others have to struggle for what they need.

I don't understand why it is so difficult for me to lose weight and to keep up with my quiet times. I have nothing better to do. Every day almost I am sitting at home doing NOTHING. Its boring. But, exercising is boring to me too. I don't have any specific place I can go to work. I have to stay at home and use what I have, nothing.

I don't understand a lot of things. I wish I did, and I wish my wants could become things I do or have. But they aren't. They are wants.

So, I am setting some goals. I am going to try my best to get a summer job. I am going to lose 40 pounds by the end of summer. I am going to buy cute clothes. I am going to be a strong Christian. I am gonna try my best to have a boyfriend. And I am going to have a wonderful summer. Let's hope I can reach most of these goals.

--Love,

Laney

Give me a sign.

Losing someone important to you stinks. It hurts. It's hard. I should know.

The people whom we love the most, can also hurt us the most.

The people who I thought were my best friends, aren't.

I don't exactly feel like explaining the WHOLE story, so here's the sweetened, condensed version.

Some friends were passing a note, about me. They left it there and by chance, I read it. They said bad things about me and it hurt. I told them that it was mean and I just ignored them because I was mad and didn't want my anger to cause anything bad to happen. The next day, I get to class and there's 2 notes on my desk, from them. Both of them never apologized, but rather put all or most of the blame on me and tried to justify what they said and talking about me in general. They no longer wanted to be my friend. I decided I was done with their crap and I didn't need fake friends that held me down and hurt me. We haven't talked since.

At school, to other people, and even what they see of me, it seems that I have just hardened my shell and moved on with my life. But deep down inside, it's killing me. I cry. I really hurts me to think that all along they probably didn't even care about me, or my feelings. To think that the people I loved the most are okay to just throw me away like that. It makes me feel unimportant.

"Everything good in my life falls apart." That's my sign. My sign that many people don't see. I always feel like every time something good happens in my life, something bad happens and I lose it. Even the people I loved and cared about and trusted have gone away from me.

Tonight, church was amazing. It showed me that I don't have to hurt like this. My God loves me no matter what and His will shall be done. "Through me, God's will can be done." That's my new sign. I want everyone to see it. I want to identify me. The girl who brought God's Kingdom to Earth. That will be me.

--Love,

Laney

Love all.

Dear readers,

So sorry I haven't written all weekend... I was at Olivia's house.

We have started our conjoined blog about our story of how we came to be best friends/twins/Delivia. It is taking longer than expected, because its hard to explain how we came to be how we are. It's definitely a "God-Thing" as people say. His plan is amazing and He brings amazing people in and out of my life, ans I thank Him for every one of them.

This past Sunday in discussion group we discussed our new series "Go Serve." It was an interesting discussion, but there was one specific topic I didn't agree on. It was stated that people do everything for some sort of recognition. I don't believe that. I don't believe that everything that we do is for attention or for appreciation. There are so many things that people do for others everyday that goes unnoticed. Yes, God does notice everything that we do, but He already knows that we are going to do them, so we aren't exactly doing it for recognition.

Today I started writing a sermon, one about loving one another. About loving everyone around us. Not just our friends and family, but everyone, even those who make us mad. Its not always easy to do that, but we have to try because it is what God tells us to do. Philippians 2:2-5 says "...make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, you should have the same attitude of mind that Christ Jesus had." This passage is a perfect example of how God tells us to live our lives and how to treat others.

When we come in to contact with people in our lives everyday, how do we treat them? Is it how we should be treating them? Look at your relationships and see if they are how they should be.

Have a good day and let God be your pilot.

--Love,

LaneyLou