Give me a sign.

Losing someone important to you stinks. It hurts. It's hard. I should know.

The people whom we love the most, can also hurt us the most.

The people who I thought were my best friends, aren't.

I don't exactly feel like explaining the WHOLE story, so here's the sweetened, condensed version.

Some friends were passing a note, about me. They left it there and by chance, I read it. They said bad things about me and it hurt. I told them that it was mean and I just ignored them because I was mad and didn't want my anger to cause anything bad to happen. The next day, I get to class and there's 2 notes on my desk, from them. Both of them never apologized, but rather put all or most of the blame on me and tried to justify what they said and talking about me in general. They no longer wanted to be my friend. I decided I was done with their crap and I didn't need fake friends that held me down and hurt me. We haven't talked since.

At school, to other people, and even what they see of me, it seems that I have just hardened my shell and moved on with my life. But deep down inside, it's killing me. I cry. I really hurts me to think that all along they probably didn't even care about me, or my feelings. To think that the people I loved the most are okay to just throw me away like that. It makes me feel unimportant.

"Everything good in my life falls apart." That's my sign. My sign that many people don't see. I always feel like every time something good happens in my life, something bad happens and I lose it. Even the people I loved and cared about and trusted have gone away from me.

Tonight, church was amazing. It showed me that I don't have to hurt like this. My God loves me no matter what and His will shall be done. "Through me, God's will can be done." That's my new sign. I want everyone to see it. I want to identify me. The girl who brought God's Kingdom to Earth. That will be me.

--Love,

Laney