Welcome back to my blog, this is number 3, WOOT! And I am using MY computer, and though the screen is blue, the typing experience is much more enjoyable(:
Well, today was day 2 of my head injury, but other than a slight bit of dizziness and a major headache, i was fine. However, i did get tired of repeating the story when people would ask "DUDE, what happened to your face?!?" But hey, I got a miniscule amount of popularity for the day...
Tonight, i was unable to attend my usual church, but not for a bad reason, but because I went to Hopewell to hear Paige's testimony(: It was unbelievably awesome and the amount of tears shed in the room is uncountable. What I mostly learned was that we need to forgive the people in our lives who have wronged us, just as God has forgiven us. The pastor spoke more on this and at the end called those who felt they needed to forgive someone who has wronged them in a big way, to the alter and Paige prayed over them. I got to go up and sit with Candace to let her know I was there for her. If you want to know about her journey, I ENCOURAGE you to read her blog! (http://candybear379.blogspot.com/2010/03/adoption.html) Her journey and her love for Jesus through all of it is pretty incredible. Love ya girl(:
I know I have told you about my life changing decisions at D-Now, and they are helping me already, but there seems to be one part of my life I have no control over.
At school, it's easier than I thought. Loving people I don't know too well, or sharing with someone I do, it comes pretty easily to me with the help of God. But as they say, home is where the heart is, but this "they" isn't me. Living the way I know I should isn't as easy for me. I know my family loves me, but that doesn't help too much. I think it's because, if someone at school is rude to me, or I don't want to talk to them, I don't have to. But at home, I live with these people, some contact is usually needed.
My brother and I, we are getting along much better since D-Now, but we still have our brother and sister moments, but hey, it's natural. However, my parents I find much harder to deal with.
For some reason, when my parents tell me to do something, it angers me. I don't want to stop what I'm doing to do some chore or whatever it is I am being told to do. And it's not even the chore that seems to bother me, it's being told to do something and being expected to leap up and do it immediately, no matter what I am doing. It makes me so angry. Especially when I am trying to finish up my blog before bedtime and I keep getting told to do things.
Having my mom or dad walk into my room when I am say, doing my hair or makeup or doing my homework, and telling me "Clean this place up, it looks like a bomb went off!" Just makes me want to scream. I can't just stop with half of my hair or makeup done to clean my room!
And most of the time its evident that my parents just DON'T understand me. They think I'm just like them and go through the same kind of stuff, but I DON'T. This is a new day and age, and I am a completely different person! And another thing is when my dad tells me "If I woulda said that to my dad, he woulda punched me across the room!" because that's what HIS dad's response to things was. If he thinks its gonna tell me how to act, it doesn't help at all.
And some of the rules in my house are just flat out unfair. Like this one: NO flip flops or short-shorts unless its 60 degrees outside. ARE YOU KIDDING? I mean, if it's cold and rainy, I understand... but if it's about 50 I should be able to wear flip flops! I'm in school the whole time, it's not like I'm running around outside, I'm just sitting there. And another rule I despise is my bedtime. If you ask me, 9:30 is a joke. I mean, I know I need my sleep and whatnot, but that doesn't mean I require a set bedtime, especially one so early! I actually enjoy sleeping, so I would go to bed at a reasonable hour on my own anyways!
But even though my parents frustrate me so much, I know I have to obey them. It's really harder for me than it should be, and i wish I could just carry over my attitude from school to home, but it seems that even if I walk in the door in a good mood, I am mad at someone or something by the time I go to bed. As my mom always says "you have the ability to change the mood in a room, Delaney." But it seems to only work when I'm in a bad mood. When I'm in a good mood, it seems everyone else has to be in a bad mood, which unfortunately brings me down too.
And I am tired of living in a house where we can't all just be happy and love each other. This world has so many problems, and I want to be contributing to the good, but i feel like I am in a place where happiness is smothered. I know my mom will be reading this, but this is how I feel.
This week it is my prayer that I will be able to bring my love of God and others into my own home. I pray that I will obey my parents without backtalk and love them like the Lord loves me.
Until next time,
--Love,
LaneyLou
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